Broken Dreams Boulevard
This is my Boulevard of Broken Dreams. I walk alone, I walk alone. I have to watch my steps now because the tree roots are beginning to tear up the road. There used to be people staring down through the building windows at me, now it is only the strangling branches of life. There is no one here but me. I walk alone, I walk alone.
I can see through a shop display my old grand piano, it too is run over by plant life. But I can hear music and people inside the shop, I want to join them, to get in. I can't. The building is locked and I continue on. I walk alone, I walk alone.
The road soon forks into two, and on the right, I can almost see through the mist a girl, playing the guitar and singing quietly to herself. I watch her for a moment and then turn to the left road. I walk alone, I walk alone.
Soon, down this road I find that the shops are more lively. As I peer through the store windows there are great stories taking place inside them, masterpieces even. But one by one, the characters in each tale soon freeze and stare at me, waiting. I move on. I walk alone, I walk alone.
The clouds get darker, and it begins to rain. The puddles form in my destroyed road. As I'm walking I avoid a large puddle... But as soon as I have successfully passed it, I turn around and slam my feet into it. The water sprays my face and I smile. I walk alone, I walk alone.
The buildings on the road eventually begin to deteriorate to nothing. The broken road ends in a small circle, with a yellow sign in the middle that says, DEAD END. I go to the center of the circle and sit crossed-legged, waiting. Alone.
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Very good. I liked the part about the puddle when you step backwards and you're in the puddle you avoided. You've got some wicked cool ideas for the broken dreams. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome. You're very good at painting pictures with words. I'm very impressed.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being awesome.
~Pond
I have a love for music also, with the piano.
ReplyDeleteThis is really good because you're not just listing the things you see in your Boulevard, but you tell them with a story. This whole thing is a story, It's wicked good writing. I like it.
Great work, I love the line about the grand piano, I wish I could play both hands on a piano.
ReplyDeleteWhy the heck did you not walk to the girl with the guitar?! Whatever, this post is wicked mind-boggling.
ReplyDeleteyou did a really good job of creating a sense of loneliness. how there can be people and things going on everywhere around you but you're still alone. i liked it good job!
ReplyDeletePeople are afraid of exile. That's why there are no comments here.
ReplyDeleteBut you embrace it.
I love how your writing has such strong characters. Most of the posts I've read are descriptive and the setting is memorable, but there aren't really interesting characters. You've done it. The girl playing the guitar singing softly to herself. The characters frozen, staring at you, waiting. And you (or the speaker, whatever).
The final image, sitting crossed-legged, waiting. Very memorable.
I like how the characters inside stop the story and wait. This whole post is sad but really good. Keep it up! :)
ReplyDeleteI really like this. I can see what you're describing.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your descriptions, everything flowed really well too. Great job, keep up the good work.
ReplyDeletedope!
ReplyDeletehaha i thought you were happy at the end. this is mind boggling. but very good description.
ReplyDeleteMiro-Ender - That puddle thing, I did that once, and I've always remembered it.
ReplyDeleteAmelia Pond - You da one thaz awesome!
David Beckham - Man I suck at the piano I wish I was better... But the sad thing is this "story" is mine, all I had to do was disguise it
Sonny S Moore - I don't know how to read Base Cleft (Left hand) either... =(
Tobias Hogarth Manly - Holy shiz man!!! That small representation represents the girl of my dreams! Technically if I were to put what I actually did in my post, I would go to her, but she would never see me in return, and then I'd move on... =( But thaz depressing so I left it out =)
Skeeter - That's exactly what I wanted to do, because usually people aren't actually physically alone, they just feel that way
Nelson - I guess there were comments :D Honestly the frozen characters staring at me kind of creeped me out but I'm glad I got the message across... I love the last image too... Cross-legged is how I always sit, and when I'm sitting, I'm usually waiting...
Effervescent Laughter - Well, yeah, its sad... But atleast it's real... But I do have allot of characters waiting for me to give them life again... They haunt my dreams! Just kidding, but still...
Random LP Student - sweet
Guy Fawkes Night - Your name trips me out every time I read it =)
Vegeta - ... ummm... yes?
Len Bias - Mind boggling? I was trying to represent peace at the end, so yeah happiness... Cross-legged is how meditators sit... tee hee